whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
