The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
