My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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