If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize