one two three fourrrrnication!
Screwed.edu
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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