I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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