Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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