Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
