I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
