For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
