Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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