I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
