? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
