i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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