Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
