Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just gargled with NyQuil
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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