when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
