guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
