Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We're too hungover to prance.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
