roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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