i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
