he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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