Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dignity is for republicans.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
