Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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