she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
