I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
