How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
