Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
