Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There's always time for handjobs
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
