Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Let's get the cat blown out
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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