he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
