Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
