all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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