You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
