Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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