hotel room ftw
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
