Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
