I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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