no, he came in my armpit
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
