if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
