I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
