North Korea, Best Korea!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
