when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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