just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
