I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
did you just send me my own nude
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
