I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
