So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He better not be in your backpack
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
