The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
