Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
