i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
