Well douche your snatch and let's go!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
