No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
