If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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