Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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