your room smells of hookers.
And success
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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